I’ve been struggling lately for topics to write about. Sure, there are endless possibilities of topics, but the only thing my brain can muster up the energy to write about is a sort of reflection on traveling, looking back at past decisions and being so incredibly lucky that I made them.
This isn’t coming from a place of ego or me being conceited because I did something (at least I don’t think), but rather a place of gratitude….gratitude that I think a lot of us cold relate to.
My entire childhood I always wanted to go. To travel, to get as far away from the town and people I knew and create something new. To experience life and adventures. To find different ways to be a live. I’d been creating a bucket list since I can remember of all the places I wanted to go and see. No one in my family or friends had ever really traveled out of the little south eastern part of the states. Not to other countries. Nesttled in their idea of safety, which I can argue isn’t all that safe, but whatever. I wanted something different. I wanted to see what I saw when watching the discovery channel, on scrolling the internet, and what experience what I read in books.
As we get older, it’s like the light and adventures we have slowly start to dim. They seem out of reach. We can’t do something for x amount of reasons. But it isn’t true. I always thought I had to have a friend with me to travel. Convincing my friends to spontaneously drive across country with me when I was in my late teens and early twenties was a good start, but when you want to take your travel out of the country and to more complicated places…..it’s hard to schedule a time for everyone to go. Money is another big issue I think that sets us back (along with taking off work and school). I think we all have this idea that it’s hella expensive to travel….and it can be, but it also doesn’t have to be.
At some point in my early twenties I quit waiting. Waiting on friends to go with me. Waiting for the right time, for the right amount of savings or break from school/work. And I left, and I stayed gone for longer than I anticipated and I started doing it again and again. Just going on a whim to a foreign country because, “I’m only young once” and I so desperately wanted to spend that time seeing the world and learning from it. Friends envied me, people weren’t happy with me, and it’s kind of like a lot of people in my life thought I was being careless or stupid. Like I was running away from something (which, if you read enough post you’ll know it was the exact opposite). In a sense I did lose people for doing what made my soul happy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
None of us laymen could have predicted a global pandemic, none of us can clearly predict how it’s going to change life on earth. How normal international travel will be, how easy or difficult. How nothing will be the same…How every country and culture will change (even if it’s slightly) to adapt.
And I just feel so grateful for that kid deep in me who demanded to go see the world before 2020. For the pieces of me that pushed me to go on a whim. Trusting myself to figure it out, but knowing I had to do it. I feel so grateful that I got to the see the world before this year got ahold of it… and will hopefully get to see the world after. A perspective we usually only read about in history books or watch in documentaries, but get to live it. We get to live it. How cool it that?
As bad as things seem to be right now, as stagnate and sinking as Iseem to feel some days, I know eventually it won’t be like that. Nothing last forever.
Where I’m going with this is, live your life. Start finding what sets your soul on fire and find ways to do it…do it even though the world looks different and it will look a little different.
At the end of the day, living life isn’t just being scared and sad and staying one place. It isn’t waiting for the perfect time to do or not do something. It isn’t about just dreaming of doing something either. It’s trusting yourself. It’s finding a way to do it if it feels important enough. It’s living in a place that isn’t operating out of fear, but love and the specific things that set your own personal soul on fire.